The guest list for your exclusive luxury wedding is of top priority. You don’t want surprise guests throwing curve balls on your special day. If you’re nervous about an ex, estranged family member, or a stranger showing up to your wedding uninvited, we’ve got some tips on dealing with wedding crashers before and during your luxury wedding.


The first thing to come to your mind when hearing the term “wedding crashers” might be Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson in the famous romantic comedy. But you probably don’t want Vaughn…er…Jeremy Grey recounts his bull riding adventures while coming onto beautiful women at your wedding.

Unexpected wedding strangers are most common when the venue is open to the public, such as a hotel or restaurant where guests can blend in as they walk through the doors. With a large wedding, wedding crashers may be hard to spot. In addition, you may be inviting family and friends you’ve never even met before, such as parents’ friends and distant relatives, making it hard to separate the crashers from the unfamiliar invited faces.

One idea to catch the crashers is to appoint someone to make the rounds and ask strangers who they are. Consider something like, “I don’t think we’ve met before.” Then, see how the stranger reacts to that simple question.

People of the Past

The wedding crasher type that might make you most nervous is someone from your past that you want to forget about forever, such as an ex, a past friend, or an estranged family member. If you have an inkling about one of them inviting themselves or showing up without asking, have a potentially difficult conversation with them beforehand and be firm in telling them they aren’t invited. An unwelcome associate from your past might be even worse than a stranger showing up looking for some free food and a good time.

Uninvited Plus-Ones

If the invite doesn’t have a spot to write in a plus-one, your aunt’s boyfriend of the week should not attend your wedding. Unfortunately, guests sometimes forget about common decency or don’t care about the meticulous planning that goes into your wedding day. Some people will bring a plus-one without asking you, and it’s your choice if you want to let them get away with it or not. Will you have extra seats, just in case? Will you tell them they can attend the ceremony but not the reception (or vice versa)? That is completely up to you. Just make sure you plan for a situation like this ahead of time.

How to Handle the Uninvited

Whether a stranger sneaks their way into your wedding, an ex shows up with all the drama, or an uninvited plus-one decides to cause a hassle, here are three approaches to dealing with wedding crashers.

1. Designate a Doorman

You may decide to have someone standing at the entrance with a physical guest list, ensuring that everyone who turns up is invited. Your wedding is exclusive and luxurious, and you want to ensure everything goes as planned.

If you choose to have a guest list at the door, everyone must provide their name before entering. You may designate someone in your circle to have this job, or perhaps your wedding venue has an extra staff member to be the official doorman. Make sure to communicate the names of people who are absolutely not allowed in. You should also specify your rules about uninvited plus-ones.

2. Hire Security

A line from the movie Wedding Crashers comes to mind: “Lock it up.”

Suppose you’re worried about some people from your past showing up or a stalker making their way into your wedding, and you’d like to rid yourself of wedding-crasher fears. In that case, you may decide to hire wedding security. This is the best route for A-listers and public figures who want to enjoy their wedding without strangers taking photos or making a scene on their special day.

Toxic family members who are salty about not receiving an invite, crazy exes, and determined paparazzi are not easy to deal with. Turning the burden over to trained professionals who will keep you and your guests safe may be well worth it.

If your venue is notorious for hosting A-list celebrities, they may have security at their weddings on a regular basis and have the entire thing handled already.

3. Have an Usher Remove Them

It should not be the job of a bride or groom to deal with little bumps along the road on the wedding day. You want to embrace and enjoy every moment of your big day, not put your energy into putting out fires and solving issues. That’s why ushers and wedding party members are so helpful.

The ushers help to keep things organized and moving. They typically escort guests to their seats and tell people where they are supposed to be and at what time. It is not too much to ask an usher to identify uninvited guests and “usher” them out the door.

The Last Defense: Talk to Them Yourself

If an uninvited guest from your past shows up, there might be some complicated history there, and they may not listen to anybody except you. Dealing with party crashers yourself should be a last resort; if it’s going to be the only way to convince them to leave, then sometimes it’s necessary.

As hard as it may be, try to ask them kindly to leave for the sake of your wedding and avoid a scene. You could tell them you can talk at different times and sort out any drama. Now’s the time to put your persuasive skills on display. Hopefully, you can get through to them and get back to enjoying your wedding day.

Let Luxury Wedding Planners Keep the Crashers Away

Hopefully, gatecrashers stay far away from your wedding, but it’s vital to prepare for these situations well in advance, just in case. If you hire a luxury wedding planner, the good news is that they’ll do the planning for you. They’ll orchestrate the behind-the-scenes preparation to keep unwanted guests at bay, freeing you up to focus on the beauty of your wedding experience.

Need more information? Contact our luxury wedding planners for the best in exquisitely executed weddings in DC, Dallas, and Los Angeles.